Parenthood

There is much joy when a new child is brought into a family.  With that joy there is hardship, tears, worry, lessons to be learned and many fun times in between.  Children change relationships, some for the better and some it creates more of a challenge.  This article from Richard Miller gave us some great advice to help us make sure our relationship stays strong and avoids certain stresses. Here is the link to read it. https://byui.brightspace.com/content/enforced/414034-Online.2018.Spring.FAML300.01/Course%20Files/Rick%20Miller-Power.pdf?_&d2lSessionVal=NuMwetSCKBN9N8K1RA9iA1tfC&ou=414034  

The first thing he mentioned was, parents are the leaders in the family.  Miller cautioned us that this doesn't mean that parents should be harsh, domineering, or dictatorial but should set standards and guidelines and follow through with discipline to help teach the child.  I think a great leader is not afraid to work along side with those who they have stewardship over.  They show direction and lead by example.  Children mimic certain behaviors and how we talk to them and how we treat them will have bigger impacts on these relationships.  Too many parents are letting their kids rule the family and think they are giving their kids all kinds of freedom or they want to be their friend instead of a parent. This creates many problems especially in the future.  The second one was that parents need to be united in their leadership.  This one is crucial because children like to test their limits and if you are not united, they could cause a wedge in your marriage.  It is important to show that respect and unity as a couple to your children so they know their boundaries and are less confused on what is expected of them.  I liked how M. Russell Ballard told of how the brethren reach a decisions.  I think we can do this as parents, take the time to talk about your point of view and come out united in a decision.  I have seen this far too often when both parents have their own style of parenting and the child is confused or can get away with so many things because of the differences.  Usually it ends with a child that gets everything they want and they don't have respect for the authority in the home of one or both parents.  The third thing Miller talked about is how the hierarchy of parent-child dissolves when those children become adults.  This is probably the hardest thing to do once your kids are full grown because the worry and desire for their well being will never go away as a parent.  Your role changes but it still can be a wonderful relationship.  The last thing he mentioned, is that marriage is a partnership.  That both husband and wife are a team and equal partners.  Even though some of their responsibilities are different they function as equal.  I think if the relationship has this viewpoint of being equals and that both have their roles that compliment each other, then the relationship has more chance for success.  This attitude also will help the children raised in the home to see how a marriage should be and they are more likely to follow what examples have been shown unto them. 

I know in my own marriage, we accept each other's different roles and responsibilities but we are not afraid to help each other out.  We have learned how to be united when parenting and are still making adjustments as our kids grow older and new situations arise.  Our kids know that we are on the same page and are less likely to try to pit us against each other to get their way.  It is not easy sometimes but if you have this goal before heading into parenthood you will be better prepared and in turn have more success in parenthood.