A few things were brought to my attention and awareness this week as I was studying. There are many different issues and problems that can destroy a marriage. I thought that the way Professor Matheson (https://www.lds.org/ensign/2009/09/fidelity-in-marriage-its-more-than-you-think?lang=eng) pointed out how small innocent things with a friend or coworker of the opposite sex can lead us down the path to being unfaithful to our spouse was spot on. Just like Jane in his story didn't even see what was happening, I think his words could help others who may be headed down this path. It would help them see the true nature of Satan and how sneaky he is. I have seen this happen in a few people's lives. It started as something small and it seemed so innocent and non-threatening at first, but it grew until it destroyed not only one relationship but two. Satan knows our weaknesses and knows us personally and what would makes us respond. He wants us to be miserable like he is and he will stop at nothing to destroy our happiness. I am glad that I had great parents and leaders in my life that taught me to avoid "all appearance of evil" and to not put myself in these situations.
The next article that hit home for me was the report on pornography. This evil has affected people that I love. It has destroyed marriages, affected the children in these relationships as well. The one that is the hardest to see if that of my husband's sister and our brother in law. They have been married longer than us. They struggled to have children for many years and eventually with some help had a son. Three years later they had triplets. A year after the triplets were born things started to go down hill with their relationship and eventually he moved out and she has been raising these kids by herself ever since. Long story short, my sister in law allows him to be apart of the kids' life but each year it gets less and less because of his choices. The biggest problem (there were many) was his addiction to pornography. We came to find out he had been dealing with this for a long time and my sister in law was really good at hiding this from everyone. They are still in the process of getting a divorce because he doesn't see a problem with his addiction. It is so sad to watch. She is so strong and while we were talking one time, I asked her how is has the strength to keep going each day. She told me that the Savior and the Atonement is the only thing that has helped her, along with supportive family and friends. She said her relationship with the Savior has grown while she has been going through this tough trial. She is determined to teach her kids about the dangers of pornography so that they will not fall into the same trap as their dad. It has helped us as a extended family to realize this evil and that we need to teach our kids and empower them to know what it is, what they can do to prevent seeing it or what to do if they do get exposed. She found a wonderful organization protectyoungminds.org that teaches you how to talk to your kids at any age. They have a book to help teach and talk to your kids about pornography. It is called "Good Pictures, Bad Pictures," by Kristen Jenson and Gail Poyner. We read this as a family my kids ranging from age 14 down to 6 and this book helped them all understand in terms that were age appropriate. It helps them understand how their feeling brain and their thinking brain work together. It explained what addiction was and how it tricks our brains to believe lies about sexuality and relationships. I thought it was a great resource and teaching tool. I feel like it has opened up the communication in our family about this tough subject. I feel like the world views this issue as normal and that its just a phase, or its just curiosity. They don't see it as a problem at all. They don't see the damaging affects it has on relationships and families. I was grateful for the State of the Nation report research, showing the affects of pornography in marriage because I think if we don't help the world see what damage it can do then those numbers are likely to increase. The numbers and statistics that they mentioned about it increasing were far worse than I could ever imagine. There are so many things that are affected by this problem, including the children and society as a whole. They listed many effects that are potential problems for shaping sexual development as well as future marital and familial relationships. I am grateful for leaders of the church that are not afraid to address these "secret sins" and to give us warnings and instructions on how to safeguard ourselves and our marriages and our families. I know if we listen to the prophets voice, learn from the scriptures and do the daily things that will keep us worthy of the companionship of the Holy Ghost, we will be able to safeguard ourselves, our marriages and our families. It is when we let go of the rod or drift towards the great and spacious building that we leave ourselves exposed and unprotected from the fiery darts of the adversary.
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